1,5 years ago I had to play a gig that was a pretty big deal for me. I was responsible for the closing slot of the night and got to play after a very big name in the industry. I knew some people at the club and was talking to them, trying to calm my nerves and get comfortable with the vibe. About 10 minutes before I had to start I go to the DJ booth where someone I know was working as the light jockey. After seeing him I said hi and asked how he was. He’s also (still) in the music industry as a DJ and producer so I asked how his music was going, when he told me (again, 10 min before I had to go on) that he didn’t get as much chances as women because he doesn’t have boobs. I was very upset by his comment and was thrown off by it. After telling my experience to others, a lot of women actually told me that he had notoriously been making sexist comments like that for the past 20 years or so, yet no one has ever been able to take action. Sexism needs to stop. Comments like these need to stop. I’m done and I stand with you!

Over the course of my career I’ve had a lot of mansplaining, men grabbing me, my ass, my waist etc, but the story that I am traumatized by the most is this one.

At one of the conferences I went with some industry friends to see a friend of mine DJ. I had quite a few drinks that night because I was having a lot of fun. Several of my friends left and I was left there with just a few people backstage. A guy that is now working for one of the biggest Djs in the world and helping run one of the biggest parties in Ibiza decided to come up to me and convince me we should take off and go hook up. I remember him trying to fully sell me on it and it made me feel uncomfortable. He kept coming up to me and saying ‘we should go ..lets go..’. I remember going up to a couple friends saying ‘this guy keeps on trying to get me to go with him and I don’t know how I feel about it.’ I wasn’t in the right state of mind to make a decision like this, he was being really pushy and wouldn’t let it go. Next thing I know I’m in an uber going to this guys Airbnb. I was so intoxicated everything is spotty in my memory and I remember being led into some weird basement. Next thing I know he’s on top of me and I didn’t like it. He could tell I didn’t want to be there with him and so he said I’ll get you dropped off in an uber then. It was awful. I woke up the next day puking my guts out feeling like I had been so violated. This guy totally preyed on me. I have been traumatized by it ever since. I also avoid Ibiza just because of it which is ridiculous because this is what I do for work ..I shouldn’t have to avoid the mecca of electronic music because of this predator. I know several women who have other stories about this guy. I hope one day the truth will come out him because I know he has violated other women.

A thing that has happened so many times I’ve lost count, is when I perform next to another male main act from abroad. They often treat me as an object and expect me to go to the hotel with them later. They always message me before the gig like ”What are you doing later? I stay at x hotel.” When I respond being offended and shocked they later don’t even look me in the eye at the events, cowards. I’ve also stopped getting booked next to them, so I’m sure they blacklisted me from some promoters.

A big milestone in my career was ruined by a famous DJ. I performed at my countries biggest festival where I was finally playing on the mainstage. whilst I was performing my DJ set he came and crawled under the DJ console and for the whole next 2 hours tried to touch me and put his tongue into my pubic area. Every other performed and organizer saw it from the backstage and they all laughed. Wow writing it out like that, it’s so fucked up! And I was still underage.

This testimonial is about my very first was my ”manager” who was about 40 years old when I was 16. He picked me up from a DJ competition where he was a judge. He said that he saw a major talent in me and promised me the world. The following years he harassed me online talking about what he would like to do to me and how he dreams about me even though he had a wife and kids. This is also my fault because I was naive. The online messages followed by going to gigs together in other countries where somehow there was a ”mistake” at the hotel and we got only 1 room where there was no other way to fix this, which now thinking about seems so stupid. But I was 16 and I listened to him. So we had to sleep in the same bed and me not expecting anything because I was a virgin and didn’t even think about it – felt his hard dick on me on the middle of the night… Same patterns kept happening all over the years where he spoke like we had the love story of a century and he kept on kissing/touching me randomly at events. I even remember one night where I ran to the club’s promoter scared and asked if I can sleep at her couch because I was too afraid to go to the hotel (because I said no to my manager).

Finally I grew a bit older and realised this is not right and ended my relationship with him. He of course said that I wouldn’t be anything without him but here I am, doing just fine. The saddest part is though that we live in a very small city and I see him often. 7 years later and the cherry on the cake is the fact that my best friend is in love with him and they live together. Nobody knows about this even not her and it’s so hard to keep this dirty little secret that only I and he knows, while my bestie is wanting to marry him. She is also older and is sure that there won’t be any other guys for her. I have thought about this many times. Should I say something to her or let her be happy, because at the end of the day it won’t change anything for her and I was just young and naive.